Repeated experiences have but one aim:
to teach a lesson you repeatedly refused to learn.

Reading between the lines, that says:
Hey, I'm staying away from boys, sucka.

Don't get me wrong, I am not heartbroken. I just realised that I honestly do not know what I really want. Sometimes, I fool myself into thinking that this is what I want, or that. Well, reality check, it is neither this nor that. And as much as I can't wait to find out what it is (for my own good), I just don't freaking have the time.

Let's be practical. The teachers told us not to go abroad during the holidays for the two-week intensive program. We'll have to face the new term and be welcomed by the Mock Exam. And then we'll move on to Prelims and finally to O'levels. Ok, I'm just saying. My schedule is bound to be full and I don't have any spare time for crises. OMG I am so excited.

Plus, while flirting can be really fun, it's really more of a rollercoaster ride for vanity's sake. Need I elaborate? Nah. Plus plus, most of the time, one is bound to fall for another, and keep on falling. Now I'm going to make a new law here on flirting, or a theory, however you want to call this: at least one person always ends up hitting rock-bottom. Because in those moments between a smile and a wink, between pick-up lines and slight brushes of the arms, between the compliments and the sweet-talks, between those moments something beyond infatuation starts to nurture itself without your even noticing it. And if that something does not start to grow within the other person, that's it mate, you're a goner. haha!

So here, now I'm on the other end. I've seen it from both sides.
So here, bang your head like this now, uh huh.









It's a waste of time going to school today. If I knew that the Maths extra lesson is cancelled, I wouldn't have dragged myself out of my uber comfortable bed 3hours ago. And now I'm here, inside the school IT lab, even though the instructions say we must be in the library. You see, all the english teachers are not around, and it is English intensive this week, but they still couldn't spare us this day because hey, it's their job to make our lives as miserable as they possibly can.

There's nothing else to do now. I guess I'll be stuck here for the rest of the day.
Ok, let me find something to be happy about.




It's not yet over, no. There's no closure. Nor will there be any. No, I'm not gonna let that happen.

Doesn't it feel like only yesterday when I skipped school for three days? It does. Well, that was the last week of term1. And now the last week of term2 is approaching. And no, I am not skipping school again. So my SS paper wasn't that bad, after all. Maybe not that good either, but still good enough for me to be thankful. Same goes for my Amaths paper2. Yes true, there are a lot of other people who got way better results than I did, but what did I do the day before the paper? I only deserved that.

Wednesday was surreal. How we entered that territory is still a blur inside my head. How we took a step forward and two back. And now you're not here for the amendments. I only wish I won't be too late.




Tomorrow is holiday! yeah!
So the MYE 2007 has officially passed. There, not so far down the pavement, waving at us, smiling, bidding us farewell, with a look on its face that says Look ahead now, there's so much more to come. So then we look ahead, moving on, wondering what that really was all about. And then we ask ourselves, What next?




Two more papers to go. It's always like this. We'll be celebrating because it's our final papers, while the rest of the school is celebrating because their exams are over. YAY. Well, the week was going by so perfectly that I was fooled into thinking it will be smooth sailing all the way. So it wasn't all the way. Amaths paper2 was a total pooper alright. Ugh, what happened to me? is all I can still ask myself. I guess it was the complacency. Oh well, one can't have it all I suppose. Like what I always say, This ain't perfect world. But still, no regrets, only lessons learned.

So tell me now, how are we?
I know being in this territory is just plain quixotic. But I haven't decided whether to hold on to you or to move on. While I know I still can. And the question in my mind now really is: How bad do I want this?




It is 11:25 in a sunday morning and my head is about to burst. Come to think of it, there's not even a space for me to contemplate my thoughts on. My Gran says that the brain is just like any other machine, sometimes it just goes baaaam! and stops functioning. She says it's just like the stomach, no matter how much more you want to consume, it vomits out everything when it's full.

You, you're a mainstay in my dreams now. I'll see you on tuesday (:




First post for May! Yay!

But why am I out of things to say? Ugh. This is so not me. Alright, let's make this easy.

So the Social Studies paper was a big bummer. I remember not functioning properly after that. I was walking unconsciously and I had this huge huge urge to cry. But then again, maybe it was because of the other friday-reason.

Do you ever find yourself not sure of what you feel? Don't lie. I know you do. That's normal, isn't it? Well, I'm not sure of what I am feeling just yet. Let's not jump off the cliff for now. The sight is spectacular, anyway.