Tuesday, June 27
Insomnia Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time. (Latin insomnia, from insomnis - sleepless; in- 'not', somnus- 'sleep')
Oh screw it. I'm a mutant. I really am.
Normal people go to bed and fall asleep in about half-an-hour, at most. Normal people yawn, and get tired and feel sleepy at night. Normal people get at least 7hours of sleep. Normal people are everything but me.
Abnormal people (aka mutants, freaks, aliens; etc) go to bed and lay there for hours practically conscious of everything happening around them. Abnormal people don't yawn and don't feel sleepy - even though they're overfatigued and their eyeballs are virtually popping out. Abnormal people can stay awake for more than 48hours. Abnormal people are me. Join the club!
Saturday, June 24
School Zone. We're all gonna approach that very soon now. Oh well, maybe your holidays weren't all that fun and exciting. Maybe it was spent classic couch potato style - watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, C.S.I marathons, Pimp My Ride marathons, E! True Holliwood Stories, Making the Band 3 marathons, and this HongKong drama: The Academy. Maybe you went to Sentosa to get a tan, but the heavens were against you and the glorious Sun almost as well as did not show up at all. Maybe you tried to get hold of some cash by applying for a job, but alas, found yourself not cut out for it. However you spent your holidays, there's no point regretting it now, if you do, that is. School's back people. And if there's one thing we need to do:
Buck up! So I'm gonna cease all this typing and blabbing and grab my pencil box and files, because hey, I still have 2 Maths paper to go and I need to
read through, if not fully understand, Ionic Equations; because, again, Hey! I screwed the Chemistry Lessons so I have to try and grasp the concept by myself. So much for
'revising everything until it's all up in my head like a singsong'.
Chill people.
Tuesday, June 13
Sometimes I just really wish I never left the life I had before. The one before the the hitherto's previous one. Confused?
No one has ever left me. Every soul who walked into my life never stepped out of it, as long as it stayed. I was the one who always ran away.
But it's not like I really wanted those to happen. It's not like I had control over those situations. I just really had to go. But what does it matter? To the people I left, I was putting them aside. To them, I never cared. To them, moving away was always as easy as breathing.
I guess it's my fault, too, the way they took it. I was always so nonchalant about it, my feelings being so remote from everyone surrounding me.
Today, I woke up and found myself wandering about the corridors of my old school, probably in the year 1999. There were many brief memories. Some blurred and all-mixed up with each other; some are as crystal clear; mostly filled with childhood innocence that to me, here and now, is so poignant I can almost cry.
What if I never went away?
Silly question, I know. Because for all the things that took place, a hundred thousand more did not. And if I were to ask what could have happened, there are a hundred thousand possibilities.
And who knows, really? More than half of us alive wish that we could turn back time; wish that we could relive the days differently; let go of the things left unsaid; take back everything that led to events less-appreciated.
Funny thing, fate is. It's not like things would be better. For all we know, this could be the best there ever is.
One night in January 2002, I can't remember the exact date, I had a terrible longing to talk to this friend I have not seen in a year. I called everyone I know, just to get in touch with this person again. It was a trivial thing. I just really wanted to know how he was doing, for we used to be so much close back in elementary years. Trivial thing, it really was. Ironically enough, it is definitely because of that trivial thing that made me type all these words.
Unencumbered words.
Things do happen for a reason.
Sunday, June 11
Reading through my previous posts banged some sense to me. And I'm like: Did I really type all these things or what?! I mean all those melodramatic-uber-hopeless-romantic posts that I swear to you people, were not written by me!
Reading through those stuffs, I realised how wrong I was. All those blahblahs about how nothing significant is happening in my life, all those rotten overly-talked-about shit about how fast time flies by and how no one could grab them for all they're worth; All these are craps.
FACT: A lot has happened. And I mean a lot.
Let's get real people. Or at least I will.
A lot of things has taken place. And a lot more has changed.
I have evolved from a human to a mutant. Scratch that.
I have evolved from a ... geez. I can't even remember what I used to be before I became what I am now. And oh hell, what am I now, really?
This ain't going anywhere. Reject this paragraph.
Life is Wonderful;Jason Mraz - MR. A-Z;
It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a storey
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying
It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction
Life is wonderful
life goes full circle
It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other
And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished
It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain
Yeah. Life is wonderful baby.
Friday, June 9
I'm developing a daily routine.It goes something like this:
Wake up around 10am,
seek for food in the kitchen. Finds nothing. Eat craps loaded with 15g of fats per serving. Rack my bro's movie collection. Sit my ass up in the couch. Try to entertain my self. Succeeds in entertaining my self. Lunch time. Still no food. Eats anything edible. Watch FRIENDS until around 6 - that's when I realize that I'm a lazy bum. So I get depressed and try to sleep it off. But hey, automatically I wake up before 8 because that's when The Academy starts. FYI: The Academy is this HongKong drama that I've been watching since its 4th episode, got me hooked, I'm telling you.
But today there's a slight difference. I tried studying Chemistry for like an hour. And I couldn't concentrate because something inside me keeps saying:
Go and watch FRIENDS you idiot, this is the only chance you'll get to finish up the whole series. So then I went back to my routine like no shit about Chemistry happened at all.
And I keep having this daydream about me asking people:
Hi, are you a Singaporean? And in my daydream they don't shoo me off. They say:
Why yeah, are you doing some survey? Because I would love
to fill up one for you. And of course that would never happen because:
1) I QUIT THAT JOB AND SWEAR TO EVERY F.R.I.E.N.D.S DVD THERE IS: I WON'T TAKE UP THE JOB EVER AGAIN!!!!
2) SINGAPOREANS ARE NOT NICE WHEN IT COMES TO SURVEY-FILLING!!!!!!!!!
No offense people, but they saying
No, I'm not when they obviously are makes me hate people and makes me hate myself and makes me want to go home and just watch FRIENDS. Because hey, FRIENDS is nice and FRIENDS is entertaining and it doesn't say
I'm not a Singaporean when it so-without-any-doubt is!!!
Friday, June 2
Why do adults feel this need to let us, youngsters, into their personal adult problems? Can't they just leave us out of it and let us live our normal youngsters' lives? Sooner or later we'll be the adults, enmeshed in the same situation they are in now, impervious to the needs and wants of the youth surrounding us. When this time comes, wouldn't it be nice to know that we have, in some distant past, had an amazing teenage years? It would. Yet somehow it's impossible. Sometimes, it's too late to undo the damages done. Sometimes, amendments can be so obsolete you just want to crumple it up and throw it with everything else.
Bitch is a very subjective word. These days, that is. 10years ago, call someone a bitch and you must not expect to arrive home with the same hairdo and clothes. Now I wouldn't even pertain to someone using Bitch if I don't consider it carefully. Does she deserve being called a bitch - in every sense? Because these days, being a bitch can mean both a compliment and an insult. In fact it's more of the former nowadays. So people, don't curse anyone using this word anymore, you're actually praising them in every way. If it makes a difference, call them dog prostitute or dognymph* or something, it means the same, only more disgusting and hurtful. Apologies for the vulgarity of this paragraph.*Ok, I just found out that nymph is different from nympho. So this should be dognympho. Nymph is actually a very positive term. Oh well. Who actually cares?"Fate plays a role in all of it". Tell me something I don't know, please. And tell me not the truth for the truth hurts me like Akhos himself would.
Life is random baby.
School Zone. We're all gonna approach that very soon now. Oh well, maybe your holidays weren't all that fun and exciting. Maybe it was spent classic couch potato style - watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, C.S.I marathons, Pimp My Ride marathons, E! True Holliwood Stories, Making the Band 3 marathons, and this HongKong drama: The Academy. Maybe you went to Sentosa to get a tan, but the heavens were against you and the glorious Sun almost as well as did not show up at all. Maybe you tried to get hold of some cash by applying for a job, but alas, found yourself not cut out for it. However you spent your holidays, there's no point regretting it now, if you do, that is. School's back people. And if there's one thing we need to do: Buck up! So I'm gonna cease all this typing and blabbing and grab my pencil box and files, because hey, I still have 2 Maths paper to go and I need to read through, if not fully understand, Ionic Equations; because, again, Hey! I screwed the Chemistry Lessons so I have to try and grasp the concept by myself. So much for 'revising everything until it's all up in my head like a singsong'.