May I tell you something? While it still remains true?
I love you.

I'm ashamed to admit that I have not been sticking to my words lately, that I've been very inconsistent. The thing is, when I said a million times before that I'm going to move on without him, that I've learned my lessons and he is just a fragment of my past, a part of me - a huge part of me - was not willing to let go at all. I guess you could say that I was holding on to make-believes. Now I could just knock myself with my guitar for ever thinking that, somehow, he might fall for me too. The truth is, and I find no reason to deny it now, I allowed myself to believe that he does like me back, in a romatic sort of way. Now what I'm not entirely sure of is whether this is because he did show - or at least dropped hints - that this is truly so, or because I unconsciously allowed myself to think too much yet again and mistakenly interpreted his intentions.

But all of that do not matter now. Everything is clear, maybe not crystal, but less muddled enough for me to realise some things. That is, he is not for me. Not one in one million, as he said so himself. And that we can never be more than friends. I guess I must have realised this before too, but I was in a state of denial, as I have mentioned. But I'm past that stage. Maybe not way past it, but I'm on my way.

I'm breaking free.