Wednesday, October 25
Sometimes I wish I'm prettier. Nah. Scratch that.
Sometimes I wish I'm pretty. There. Much better.
Seldom times, like now, I do wish I am. These past few days and occurences have got me thinking if things would have been much better if I look better. I often wonder if he would have screwed their friendship and fought for me if I'm not this little ugly duckling; if he would not have cared that he is going away; if he would not have cared that there is little time. I often wonder if he would have held onto me. Indeed, most of the times, I do believe that he would.
We often say that it's not about the superficial things, that it is about what is inside. But believe me, it is truly difficult to love someone who is not the least bit beautiful. Human beings. We are programmed to love someone that we are physically attracted to. That is nature. And mass and media have long since clouded our brains of what is beautiful.
True, it is possible for two very unlikely people to fall madly in love. But that. That is not the work of nature. You know how tsunamis and earthquakes are natural disasters? That's how it is as well. They occur very rarely. Very.
But then, thinking about these things just kind of brings me down. So then I want to shut up and screw it. Which is what I'm about to do, by the way.
**
Ohh. Today. I had a lot of shaky moments today. In retrospect, I couldn't actually believe I survived it.
There was that talking-to-him thing. Omg. That was worse than sitting for any exam! I was trembling and blabbering and I just didn't know what to do. I still couldn't believe I was that bold to actually come up to him to talk.
-.-" - Are you really not talking to me?
>.< - No comment. I'm drinking. duh
-.-" - Are you like angry with me or something?
>.< - I don't have balance so I couldn't reply your messages.
-.-" - So you're not mad at me?
>.< - Shakes head
-.-" - Alright, Thanks. (?!)
THANKS?! Omg. Where the hell did that come from? Oh. How pathetic is that?
And then there was that waiting-for-the-results thing. Oh. This is one topic I don't really want to talk about.
Anyway, yeah. I'm kind of feverish.
I just want to say:
Congrats Pita! You finally did it! I'm so proud of you!
And, Hailey, cheer up ya? We're here to back you up. Just think about prata! Haha.
cheers <3
